-Ron Swanson

Duly noted/totally applicable

Sometimes I worry I will never figure this whole “eating like a normal person” thing out.

Some days I feel like I have it under control.  I don’t think about it too much, I don’t obsess over what I can/cannot eat, I don’t count each and every calorie, I don’t beat myself up over occasional slip ups and indulgences. The scale reflects all of this (read: my lack of being a CRAZY person) accordingly and I lose weight.

But other days? Other days I think of nothing but eating what I shouldn’t, where every extra bit of food makes me feel so guilty, and nothing seems to make it go away but overeating.  There were tons of cookies in the break room at work last week and it was seriously all I could think about.

workcookiescookiescookiesCOOKIESAREINTHEBREAKROOMpowerpointphonecallCOOKIESgoeatthemnow

It’s maddening.  And the thought of doing this to myself for the rest of my life makes me itchy.  

I’ve heard about a zillion times that if you don’t figure out why you’re overweight in the first place, odds are you’ll gain it all back.  And that (obviously) is the last thing I want.  I want to have a consistently normal relationship with food, I want to not freak the eff out if I eat a cookie, and I don’t want to track every single thing I put in my mouth until I am 80 years old because that sounds pretty awful.

Time to figure out what’s eating me and why my feeling about food can be so…off.  

What about you guys?  Do you feel like you’re figuring out why you gained weight in the first place? Do you worry that keeping the weight off will be a constant battle?

If going on a client trip to Miami at the end of January (swimsuits! All-male coworkers!) isn’t motivation, I have no idea what is.

Eep.

No significant issues with my brain. Back to the gym. I am going sweat so much, and it will be awesome.

I’ve been having problems with my head…weird pain when I cough, sneeze, workout, etc, pressure behind my eye. All sorts of good things.

Which means no more exercising/exertion of any sort until I get an MRI and an MRA per doctor’s orders. Damn him. 

I’m upset, I suppose because I am a creature of habit (read: total Type-A wacko) and being out of my routine has me feeling itchy.  I’m also worried that it’ll be far too easy to slip out of all of my good habits. 

Maybe this is the universe’s way of making me really focus on my eating. I sometimes rely on my workouts to counteract slips in my diet, but that crutch is off the table for a bit.

Diet>weights>cardio.

So that’s my attempt at putting a positive spin on this.  If you’d be so kind as to keep my ol’ noggin in your thoughts, I’d appreciate it.

And I’ve already trekked down to the gym, sweat my guts out/knocked out a 25 mile bike ride, showered, dressed and cute-ified myself, and made it back home.
This is a reminder to myself that productive weekends are (nearly) always better than ones spent sleeping in and lazing about.

You know what that means!  

• Currently taking applications for a winter cuddle buddy and/or dashing young man who has a properly heated apartment.   

For real.  It’s currently 40 degrees out and I’m miserable.  It’s gonna be a longgggg winter…